like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think i have two assholes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
