goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
