I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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