So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize