I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
