I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
