The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my liver is dry heaving
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
