you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
