If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
