I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
