i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
