Don't you send me to vm
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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