You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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