that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
