Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
