what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
