I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
