He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize