I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm both gender and math confused
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
