My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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