break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
