What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize