Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
