he shaved USA in his pubs
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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