saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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