Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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