I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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