is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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