Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
