yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
