Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
How's work?
Spinning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
