Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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