did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
