I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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