a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he fucked my hip out of place.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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