i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
