Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
