someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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