your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
