Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize