She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
