My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
