it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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