You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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