Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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