I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
