apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
