I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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