Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
two words...techno handjob
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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