My room smells like vodka and shame
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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