Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
