omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
