Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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