More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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