oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
