Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
