Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
