We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
