Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
