so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
